Box One

  • Full Name: Boxus Gaius One
  • AKA: Onesy
  • Star Sign: Sagiquaricorn
  • Created: 1996

Box One sprang into existence from nothing just seconds after Box Two. He has lots of friends and is enthusiastic about arugula. His alter ego is Bochief. B1 is one of the original characters. He might have been blue at one point.

Box Two

  • Full Name: Boxton Richie Two
  • AKA: El Dos
  • Star Sign: Carnotaurus
  • Created: 1996

Box Two sprang into existence from nothing just seconds before Box One. He is shy, level-headed, carboniferous, and does not accept any bill larger than a 20. He has no alter ego, but he does have an alter id. B2 is one of the original characters. He was red for a while.

Talking Triangle

  • Full Name: Talking Triangle Shumway
  • AKA: Stang
  • Star Sign: Triangulum
  • Created: 1996

Box One willed Talking Triangle into reality while trying to manifest a gun rack. Triangle is wide-eyed and naive, and he talks more to Floap than anyone else. His alter-ego is the beaver-themed superhero Castor Sereno, whom he becomes after putting on a toy beaver nose complete with incisors. In the first few original strips, Talking Triangle was one of a number of talking shapes that fell from the sky.


  • Full Name: Helmut Christophe Floap Floap
  • AKA: B.C.’s Quest for Tires
  • Star Sign: Dave
  • Created: 1996

Floap lives in an awesome castle. He is a disembodied eyeball, but no one knows whose body he originally belonged to – not even him (though he is happy to make up a story if you want). Floap is either an eccentric liar or just really wrong a lot. He has a voice in his head named Raymundo. In the original strips, Floap may have been a sight gag that ended up sticking around (specifically a pun on “private eye”). I have forgotten how to draw Floap before. He used to be black.


  • Full Name: Slimmm
  • AKA: Dan
  • Star Sign: Destro
  • Created: 1999-2000

Slim is a mystery. He claims to be a quantum being, and the cigarette he appears to smoke is actually a device that creates universes. His voice is scary, so he gets a different font. Slim once attended a Halloween party so epic that he attempted to remove his costume, forgetting that he wasn’t wearing one. This may explain his skinlessness, but maybe there’s another story. Like he was a karate guy who got kicked into a skin remover during a tournament to decide the fate of the world or something. Who knows?
Slim collects bunyip sightings and colorful sweaters.


  • First Appearance: “Henry“; 11/12/14

Seeking adult advice about how to live his life, Box One either hired Henry or found him living in a sugar refinery. Henry’s advice was very strange, and he was later fired by Floap.

Tony the Argumentative Giraffe

  • First Appearance: “Ego“; 2/11/15

Tony has a lot to say about things. He disagrees with whatever you believe and will butt into your conversations to tell you about it.

The Captain

Commanding Officer of the BSS Amberjack. He says things, and he isn’t very bright.


  • First Appearance: “Skull“; 3/25/15

A very high-strung owl. He shares a branch with Denny, a far less high-strung owl.

The Sultan

No one knows who the Sultan is because his identity was stolen. The Boxes went looking for his identity but kind of forgot and then other things happened. Are you sure he isn’t you?

Tom Hanks

  • First Appearance: “Birth”; 7/9/56
  • Full Name: Thomas Jeffrey Hanks
  • AKA: Hank Toms
  • Star Sign: Cancer

Tom Hanks is an actor. The Boxes celebrate his storied career annually on T.Hanks Giving.


The fluffy guardian of Stab Mountain. He is very dramatic and perpetually strapped for cash.

Detlef Shrimp

A friend of Box One. He may or may not play basketball.